I once read somewhere about how mental anguish can manifest physically, as in aches and pains from stress or summat.

So... what am I suffering from, I wonder?

Every now and then a lump manifests itself in my chest, along my sternum (the bone connecting the upper ribs - Google is your friend). It feels like a a lump, but at the same time its more like a great gaping hole, begging to be filled and closed up. Emptiness.

Or maybe my bra just sucks.

There are ways to cure it, yes. To get rid of the physical discomfort, I press on my acupressure point to release tension... But for the emptiness...

I write and write and write. Write the emptiness away. Fill it up with masses of poorly-expressed ideas, wasting paper trying to pull something out. Half-baked somethings of something more but I don't know how to write it out.

Ach. With every person who dies, millions of ideas, revelations, things (so crude a word, yes, but I can think of no other) die along with them. It's something I fear desperately - being unable to get all my ideas out on paper or something more permenant than my brain, which will eventually decay, yes.

An answer, will be found... soonest may be...

I am deliciously incoherent.

On to other things...

Found two spirits kindred to something I thought I had forgotten a long time ago... No. Something I wanted to push away. Now I remember why I wanted to forget - but even now my hand creeps closer and closer to my old notes, my books. All the old knowledge comes back - and damnit, it's exam season.

You two are really unhealthy for me... But for old time's sake, I think I'll come along for the ride. If you'll still allow me to.

Old habits do die hard.