Today: Then what on earth was I getting those damned A's for, then?

Comic-con travel plans have been scrapped.

Don'treallywanttotalkaboutit.

Today's Muse: This $50 bill on my keyboard.

Life has a funny way of biting your arse and ripping off meaty chunks when you're not looking. Just when you've finally decided to be throughly miserable about things and give up trying to find the bright side, things suddenly take a turn for the better.

I bet it does that just to spite you.

Damn. I was all set to be unhappy for the rest of this shitbag attachment, too. Don't get me wrong, it's still shit. But Life has been aiming one happy thing after the other smack at my head, and it's getting difficult to be all raaargh and poopy and fweeffffuck.

I'm still going to find the nice Headman and request I move on. And if that doesn't work I'll blow up the toilet and then maybe they'll fire me. They might also press charges, and drag the thing into a long tedious case, and then maybe I'll be in the papers with the headline "WHAT MADE HER DO IT: ALL THE SORDID DETAILS". And I'll sell some sob-story about my traumatic years in the Singapore school system ("I think they did a bang-up job, really, but me mum says it ruined my confidence") and get a couple of letters in the forum and then quietly fade into obscurity when someone writes in about coffee-shop cleanliness or people talking in cinemas or sumfink and sparks a raging debate (again).

I've always wanted to see the word "SORDID" in the papers.

Anyway, things are looking up, partly because I've decided to stop fighting, and just wallow in the shit a while. I can always clean up after I finally leave. You get used to the stink after a while, if you let yourself accept the situation. Just live with it until you can effect the change.

Right now I'm basking in the artificial glow of this huge wide-screen laptop. Da switched laptops while I was at work, saying since he didn't use this darling I might as well have it. So, goodbye horrible, splunky, slow, and screen colour-bleeding com, hellooo nurse!

It's twice as fast and has the processing power of a desktop. Which means I can finally break out my quietly decaying game collection, which has been in stasis since the main desktop was moved up to Sengkang for Kim to use. Of course, I hardly have time to game anymore, but it's the possibilty that counts. God, I want City of Heroes so bad...

Um. Anyhoo, Kim's here and we're just reading our comics and watching NINJA! Pizza's on the way (Those fuckers don't do stuffed crust any more?) and the rest of the family's out.

Ah, there's the doorbell. Goodbye, $50 bill. Nice looking at you for inspiration.


PS: For all of you who've been pestering: I get paid $4oo. Which works out to like, a dollar an hour. There. Quit asking.

Here's the deal, for all you pestering beasts. Pester.

For the past three weeks, I have been working craaaazy hours and will continue to do so for the next three weeks. I am thus unavailable for phone-speaky. Please stop calling me. Sms messages, on the other hand, are most welcome.

I have learnt I still hate working in the television industry, and that my primary school Mother Tongue teachers apparently screwed me over for life. One of them told me to kill myself once, since I was too stupid to learn Mandarin and that I had no business being Chinese and unable to speak the language.

You know what's funny? Whatever language it is, it's the same. My Malay teacher used to ask if I was retarded. I was so happy when she said, "Victoria might be stupid, but at least she's polite!".


I can't believe I let myself be talked into signing away my soul for three months. "It'll be a great experiance! Learn all!"

Learn fuck-all. I am learning absolutly nothing I can use. I am completely useless there, and people keep asking me what I'm doing there and I have no idea how to answer. You need at least TWO FUCKING YEARS of training before you can help.

You know, this was suppose to read: "It's all so interesting, I'm learning so much" to corrobate with what I've been making up to people whom asked. Sod that. I'm sick of making things up just to keep them happy.

They were only trying to help, after all. And if I quit I make loads of people unhappy and insulted. And I come out the worst of it - couldn't take the load, wasting my time

God, I wish I could make you see this the way I do. There is no "load" of work I cannot take. Give me work or give me death, say I.


Note to self: When you know something is going to be a waste of your time, Missy, stick to your goddamn guns and say NO. Screw how much work your sister put into getting this for you. Taking it isn't going to solve her problem fucktard husband. If you know it won't be worth it, don't let your mum convince you otherwise. Look good on my CV my yellow arse.


Damnit. Now I sound whiny and childish.

Ah, phooey. Life sucks, I'm knackered, boo-hoo-hoo, and, er, on and on in that vein. Never say I don't follow the trends!


Visited Kinokuniya again today, with nephew in tow (Who's claiming he has a telepathic connection with his bestest buddy and constantly seeks advice from yours truly). They released the House of M tpbs, and had 'em all up on the display rack in a neat 'lil row. I am a little sick at seeing a certain Canadian-mysterious-past-"I don't take orders from no one"-short-hairy-mutant-with-adamantium-claws-or-bone-who-can-remember, oh I don't know, EVERYWHERE.


I like him as much as the next reader, but, c'mon.

Ah, phooey.

Today's Muse: This Frog in My Throat

"How can you be so happy?"

"What?"

"Every time I see you, you're always so... upbeat, y'know? You're always joking, and even when you're being mean I can tell you're having a ball."

"Being mean?"

"You know, like sarcastic, or something. No, you suck at sarcasm, but you know what I mean. Mean. But my point is, how can you be so happy all the time? When I'm around."



"To spite you."



I want.

PS: Work is worky. I don't know how to tell you about work; it's work. Y'know, work.

Today's Muse: Tchaikosky's 1812 Overture

I have, on my floor, a newly-printed copy of Vincent van Gogh's Starry Night. My seven-year-old nephew's teacher asked his class to print out a painting each by the man, and he chose this one.

It's a little surreal, but that could just be the soft biscuits talking. I still don't know why I ate those. I don't taste things properly any more. Could be because I've taken to drinking copious amounts of scalding tea during work to keep warm. Tongue becomes numb after the sixth cup or so.



One day I'll write something intelligent about the huge amount of information available to us and something about artistic works generally becoming valueless and how that might be a bad thing and a good thing. One day.

Today I write something meaningless and babbly about comics.

What is up with Marvel these days? No, seriously, I have no idea. I stop following comics for a while and suddenly we got Chamber (What happened to the whole Weapon X infiltration shit?) amongst others... I remember flipping through something about Archangel, but it didn't register - was that even related to Decimation?

I just saw a picture of a depowered Blob. I thought his power was the whole gravity shift, er, thing. So, his fat was his mutation? That's not right... unless his flab was a result of his mutation... Then shouldn't Chamber have his face and chest restored? But then again it wouldn't make sense that way either.

How did Pietro get hold of the Terrigan Mists? What happened to the Inhumans? Skin's dead? THEY MISSPELLED HIS NAME ON HIS TOMBSTONE? I know nothing, I was born in '89

Oh, wait... My head suddenly feels a lot lighter. Oh. Ouch. Ow. Geez.


Thank God for epic, long mercies like Bone.

Today's Muse: No context.

Chamber is the fucking sexiest zombie-mutant alive.

Just needed to get that clear.

Today's Muse: Burnt Cake

Damn. Every time I walk into Kinokuniya I'm overwhelmed - So many books I want, and not enough money to get any of them. I spend hours walking around with a couple of books tucked under my arm, comparing prices and trying to choose one to take home. And when I finally step up to the counter to pay I feel physically sick - Maybe I should choose the other one? Will I have enough money for the rest of the month? Twenty dollars - Just eat at home...

I bought a manga title today, first in a long while. Not worth it. I've been collecting the series for years, and what with the ridiculous waits between volumes I've lost interest. The one I got today was especially lackluster, to me. So... long... drawn... out...

I hope to sell some of my older comics, for the cash and to make space for newer books. I have tpbs spilling over, and sitting on the floor next to my bed. Any of you interested? I'll put in a proper list link, later.

I was at Serene Centre this evening. Some chap sat on the verenda with an ice-cream and a new comic. He didn't look up once.

I rented Donnie Darko, swooned a bit over demented-knife-stabby-Gyllenhaal, wondered dully about sitting down to write, then came here instead.

I am eating burnt week-old cake.