I'm not quite sure what to feel.

I watch you try, desperately, to be one of the boys. I watch you try to be funny, be rude, be bold. I see you frightened and nervous and trying so hard to hide it and I want to do something, something to help.

But do you want help?

Sometimes I want to smack you so hard for being so stupid about things. You're so insecure about yourself it makes me want to scream. Whenever someone pays you a compliment, you don't know what to do - you try to brush it off as though you think, who'd be dumb enough to like me?

You don't listen. You behave as though you're expecting people to insult you, so you do it first. But making rude, brash comments doesn't endear you to people; you don't appear witty or smart. Just boorish.

It pains me, seeing you force your laughs.

I'm very fond of you, but you can be very hard to like, sometimes.