Today's Muse: Wobbly Elbow

I had that steampunk-Chinatown-esque cowboy dream, the same one I had one I was a wee Missy. It was like watching an old, favourite movie; you know what's going to happen next but it still fills you with glee.

I did step in and change a couple of things; got the cowboy to make slightly different decisions this time round. It still ended up in that cramped Chinese restaurant, opposite the dastardly but buxom Snow. With the cowboy's mother in tow, of course. The cowboy never went anywhere without mother.

And I still woke up before the the key gun battle, damnit.



I keep forgetting to write this up. A few days ago I was at the MRT station, waiting for the train when I ran into an old neighbour and playmate. He was meeting his girlfriend (Ickle Pat has a girlie?), but opted to stay and chat briefly.

It was strange. I kept staring at this fellow, trying to see the little boy I used to push off the swings. Sometimes I could catch that boy, just briefly! in the way he would cock his head, or tap his finger. Good grief, I used to tower over him - and he's grown out his hair!

We had lost contact over the past year or so - I was nursing a grudge against his brother. Every time I spoke to the old troop that anger would flare up again, so slowly I stopped seeking them out. I suppose I didn't really feel their absence too keenly, what with secondary school life.

Everyone changes. Nothing can ever stay the same.

So we sat and talked at length. Trifles. Before he left, he told me how weird it was for him seeing me with short hair, since most of my life I've kept a ponytail. Before I could think of a (hopefully) witty comeback, he said something that left me at a loss.


"You've got Tommy-boy hair now."


God. The unspoken question. You gonna be him now? You going to take over?

Every single fucking time.

"No, no. I don't, no. My hair, too long."

We laughed, and parted.

We were kids, back when we knew each other. But we've grown, changed. All of us, we hardly speak any more. What happened to the rest? Yolk went to Australia; after that we just sort of drifted apart. Then that shite with Thomas. I wonder what happened to Wei Loong?

And frankly, I'm fine with things the way they are. If you're so eager for a reunion of sorts you do it. I'm not going to try and be the one link and bring everybody back together again, or what have you. Things didn't start uravelling with Tommy-boy, they were coming apart way before him. Let's just leave the memories as they are, damnit. Let's not spoil them with a horrible memory.

Besides Thomas' fuckery, of course.

Damn, now I'm all frustrated and angry. I'm going for a walk.



Back, with new THINGS. Good THINGS, hence the capitalization. Nice thing about this place (besides the fecking nicest floors in the world) is that the shopping district is only a short trudge through bush and mud and along highway away. Saw a battered travelling suitcase in the bushes; flirted briefly with the notion it contained dismembered body parts.

Lost hours to the library. Still in a steampunk-Chinatown-esque cowboy mood, I pulled a battered copy of Trigun off the shelf. I've never read the manga or watched the anime before, but so far I like what I'm reading. My only gripe is the way it seems to be composed early in the book; too much being crammed into one page. That means much squinty-joy. But it appeals to the detail-hungry fangirl in me.

I've been keeping away from manga for a while, come to think of it. I think after reading Tsutomu Nihei's BLAME!, I became a little disillusioned with whatever manga I read afterwards. Everything I got me grubby paws on seemed so dull after the awesome that is BLAME!. [Unrelated: Just found out Tokyopop's doing English trans. Should we be glad?]

So far, Trigun's shaping up to be a good read, as long as I put away the little snickering voice that goes "What the hell is that he's wearing? What's up with the whole 'spare the innocents' shtick? Isn't that like so, '96?" and so on. I even let myself squeal "His outfit is so cooooool!", quietly, of course.

How'd I start talking about this?

To recap, I spent a while at the library agonizing over which books I would eventually take home. I miss being able to take home eight paper babies at a time. That done, I hopped over to the huge bookstore and floated in and out of the comic section. It really has grown; I remember when it was just three shelves with daily funnies. Aww.

Then over to HMV, to raid the clearance racks. Found that A7x specimen that put me in the reckless sort of mood the other week. Glee.

To conclude, one muddy trudge, dinner and a session of replaying Matrix-Robot-Battle-Carnage later, I sit here typing all this out instead of working on my interview for school. Bad Missy, bad!


One more thing. I've an internship working on some yet-to-be released show, and my brother has some secret top-notch animation destined for television. So, I am in the midst of much secret glee. Don't tell anyone.

I'm a little apprehensive about the internship though. I don't mind the prospect of slogging in our weather, or even overnight or graveyard shoots, or the odd hours - it's the interacting with people. When you're about to be in a position where everyone else is above you and will probably use you as a punching bag, you're bound to be a least a little bit nervous.

Ach. I always have Stupid MF to fall back on.